Monday, August 29, 2011

How to Drink Water

I have one of those fancy-shmancy water fountains to drink from. The girl human gave me a regular bowl once and quickly learned that bowls of water are for splashing, not for drinking. Now, you probably think that be best way to drink from one of these fountains is to lap it up directly from the stream.


First, you need to stick your head under the stream. Not only will you be able to gauge the temperature of the water and ascertain if it is to your liking, some of it will dribble down your face where you can lick it off your cheek. You should do this a few times at least. Then, you need to swat at the water in the receiving bowl a few times. Once you've shown the water who is boss, then you can begin scooping with your paw and licking the moisture from your toes.

Confused? No worries! I have made an instructional video.

Friday, August 26, 2011

The Fabulousness of the Flop

It's been months -- MONTHS -- since I last posted! Please allow me to apologize. I did not mean to neglect you all but the truth of the matter is, I was having a bit of a problem with my caboose. It is very hard to motivate oneself to blog when you possess an Ass of Explosion. The good news is that some FortiFlora and super fancy duck and green pea cat food has finally appeased my innards and my poops are back to being a-okay!

TMI over-shares taken care of, allow me to get to the meat of this post: Flops. Are. Awesome.

I spend, oh, I'd say about 95% of my day on my back. My preference is to throw myself at one of the human's feet and lay there but I can flop anywhere. On the floor. On a chair. On the couch. On the bed. Anywhere! I feel it helps with my alignment and centers my chi.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

I've been cut off!

I am no longer allowed in the bathroom. All because the humans don't like me doing this:

It's not my fault that the waste basket in there is filled with empty toilet paper rolls (SO fun to play with) and used q-tips (SO delicious to munch on) or that the toilet is full of water for me to stick my paws into and make it go *splish-splish-splish*. If God didn't want me to play in the bathroom, he would have filled it with vacuum cleaners and snarling dogs!

Banning me from the bathroom is an outrage. An OUTRAGE, I say!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Box of Safety™

Like I mentioned, the girl-type human was away visiting Vegas for the past few days. At first, I was very upset that she was gone and spent a great deal of time pouting in the corner of the bedroom. Then I started to worry that the man-type might leave too so I stuck to him like glue! Luckily, he didn't leave and the girl-type came back on Monday night. So all is well again!

I have mentioned my Box of Safety™ previously and figure that it is time to write up a proper post about it. It's pretty neat! To the outside observer, it's just a plain ol' box. And that is exactly what it is when I am not in it.

However, an Invisible Force-field of Awesome envelopes both the box and myself as soon as I jump into it. Nothing can harm me -- MUAHAHAHAHA! It makes me feel very good and safe; it also gives me a primo view of the yard. I think I would like to have a few lasers mounted on the box so I can shoot those annoying squirrels who think they're all that and a bag of catnip.

Finally: I'm giving a meow-out to my buddy, Billy the Cat! It's his birthday and he's a whole two years old! I hope he gets all the Fancy Feast he can handle! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Friday, April 15, 2011

A Day in the Life of a Kitten

I spent some time last night putting together a video of what I do during the course of a day. I couldn't put in everything of course but this is a good snapshot. I chuckled when I noticed that Vimeo used the scariest looking screen grab in the entire video as the thumbnail. Do not fret, though! There's only a little bit of fierceness in the video; it's 99.9% cute.

(UPDATE: I swapped out the thumbnail with something that wasn't quite so frightening)

This will be my last blog post until Monday night or Tuesday morning. You see, the girl-type human is going to Vegas and she's leaving me in charge of taking care of the man-type who is staying home with me. This is a big responsibility! He needs a lot of attention and care so I doubt I will have time for anything else other than looking after him.

See you next week!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Hello, vet!

Today, the girl-type human took me to a place called Vet. There were lots of strange animal smells but everyone was really nice and gushed about how handsome I am. And it's true! I am very, very good looking. Ridiculously so, if I do say so myself (and I do).

Don't worry, gentle readers! There's nothing wrong with me. I just went in to get microchipped so I am very high-tech now. I'm pretty sure it will give me bionic super powers! I will keep you informed on that front; perhaps I will take up vigilante crime-fighting! What do you think? I already have a mask! HA!

Last night, the girl-type human (you know, I really should name my humans) hung out with Work for a long, long time. She didn't get home until almost midnight! I was sooooo happy to see her! I followed her everywhere she went; she thought I was trying to trip her but I was just trying to flop on her feet to get her to stop a minute and give me some love. Then? Then?! Almost as soon as she got home, she went out again! I sat by the door and cried and cried and cried. She must have heard me because she came back after only a minute, carrying something called Mail in her hands. Let me tell you, though -- that was the longest minute ever! EVAR!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Sometimes, I am kind of like a dog

There's a game I like to play with the girl-type human: FETCH! It's great fun. She takes one of my furry mice, shakes it so it rattles and then throws it across the room! I go after it, punish it with my claws (take THAT, you foul fiend!) and then bring it back to her in my mouth so we can do it all over again. I only like to play this game with that very specific toy but she doesn't seem to mind that I am picky!