I heard the humans conspiring the other day about something called a 'leash'. I hoped that it was an exotic treat or belly-massage technique. I do like both after all.
I was wrong. So very, very wrong.
Apparently, this leash business involves them putting a harness on me and parading me around outside at the end of a rope for all to bear witness to my humiliation. I can only assume this is some kind of attempt to assert their power over me. I will not have it!
That said, this is one of those times when I really wish I had opposable thumbs. I have a feeling they would come in handy in freeing myself from this Torture Device of Doom. Haha, see what I did there? HANDY?! I am so witty.
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